Saturday, March 27, 2010

Top Ten Things Which Freak Me Out

What freaks me out? After thinking long and hard, I’ve discovered that a lot of things freak me out. These are my top ten.

1. Spiders, of course. Always have, always will. I don’t care how much they benefit my garden.

2. People who smile all the time, even when they are by themselves, and especially when I see them on downtown buses.

3. Digging up something weird in the yard, especially if it is moving.

4. People using Bluetooth devices in public. I know it’s simply technological progress, but to me, they simply look like they are talking to themselves. Speaking of which...

5. People who talk to themselves...especially accompanied by smiling all the time...on buses.

6. Giving interviews, as I’d just recently discovered when I gave my first the other day. I kept worried about finding that fine line between coming across as an idiot and being a pretentious bore. Not used to it yet, and it didn’t help that I was 15 minutes late because I showed up at the wrong Starbucks where we agreed to meet (but in my defense, where I live, there’s a Starbucks roughly every 100 feet).

7. When my kids get injured. I’ll never get used to that.

8. When my dog does disgusting things, such as throwing up, then deciding the meal he just lurched is worth enjoying a second time, or how he’s recently discovered the hidden treasures of our cat’s litter box. I’m starting to think he considers the cat’s butt as some kind of doggy vending machine.

9. Seeing people who were obviously never taught that digging in your nose (or other regions) in public isn’t socially acceptable behavior.

10. Death. And the older I get, the more it freaks me out. I’m at that age where any unexplained ache or pain sometimes has me hitting the panic button.

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