Wednesday, August 26, 2009

MOM Earth

Look at that picture.

Beautiful, isn’t it? Or she, if you’re into the feminine avatars like Mother Earth, Gaia and Ötüken we bestow upon the space faring orb that we constantly abuse with pollution, war and reality shows.

Although we inhabit just the smallest portion crust of this planet, we do so many things that grossly affect her, such as bare stinky feet and global warming, which even the most hardcore of doubters finally admit is happening.

Imagine a world without ice on the poles. It would be a swirling, cloud covered planet looking like a bowl of cinnamon oatmeal. As the water warms, the frequency and ferocity of storms would soar, battering the surface of the planet, which lose landmass as rising sea levels gobble up valuable beachfront property and swallow entire islands like Cuba, Hawaii and Kirsty Alley.

Imagine a world where a war-torn planet is ripped apart by a nuclear war. The resultant cloud cover and radiation would wrap around the planet as a sick, ugly yellow cloud trapped in the atmosphere. The sun would cook a noxious stew of poisonous gasses killing human, animal, plant and maybe even Madonna.

Hah, just kidding. Madanna would survive.

If you watch a beauty contest, the contestants are asked inane questions, like ‘What would you like more than anything else?’

Besides a diet pill that actually works, as the movie “Miss Congeniality” made clear, the rote answer is, “World peace.”

Uh, huh. Okay, so what keeps us from achieving this World Peace?

Any ideas?

I think it’s easy. The thing that keeps us from World Peace is World Piece. As in greed. Everyone wanting a bigger slice of the pie. And not just their share of the pie. They want a bigger piece than they are entitled to.

Greed for possessions, greed for other peoples’ property, greed for the big gas guzzling car that denotes status, the greed of one country coveting the resources of its neighbor or from the not-neighbor in, say, the Middle East, greed for power, greed for the biggest bowl of ice cream.

So until we figure out some way to handle greed, we won’t see World Peace. Simple as that.

And hopefully we won’t tear Mother Earth to world pieces along the way.

I got no solutions, except maybe everyone should read funny books or something. And I’m sorry I wasn’t funny today. If you want funny, go read one of my books. They’re funny, I promise.

And they’ll bring us World Peace.

(Oh, and my new vampire humor YA book, Fang Face can be had on Earth friendly e-book, as well as traditional paper.)



Anonymous said...

I hear you, brother.Good post.

Pam Ripling said...

Wow. You DO make it sound good.
I think I'll go lay down in the street and get it over with.

Dang. I thought for sure you were going to talk about Whirled Peas.