Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Total Toilet Freedom

This week's theme ... you knew there was a theme on this blog, right? ... anyway, this week's theme is ...

(drum roll)

Here goes ...

It's "What Freaks Us Out."

When I read the theme, one thing came immediately to mind, followed by a number of other things, then some ESPN leakage and other stuff. But I decided to stick with my first impulse.

So what freaks me out?

In a word ... Women.

Yep, the so-called 'weaker sex.'

Yeah, right, weaker.

I have two daughters and my wife of almost a quarter century, and I'm bigger than them. I'm stronger. I out stink them. Heck, I'm a black belt. I shouldn't be afraid of them.

Okay, so explain to me why on a recent trip, when I stayed in a hotel by myself ... five hundred miles away from my wife and kids ... why ...

... I still couldn't leave the toilet seat up.

I mean,here's my taste of freedom. My chance to boldly leave the toilet bowl exposed and uncovered. Heck, there was no reason I'd even feel required to flush the thing.

Total Toilet Freedom!

But I couldn't do it.

Yeah, women, they freak me out.



(author of the young adult humor vampire book, Fang Face - now available for just three bucks on ebook)

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