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Saturday, July 18, 2009
The Goofiest thing I ever did
Bwah! Ha! Ha! Ha!
I'm supposed to blog about the goofiest thing I've ever done? What, that's like trying to find an individual atom in a block of iron, like trying to tell one ant from another, like trying to tell the difference between a Republican and a lobbyist.
Oops, sorry, my political views slipped in there. Must be all the Sarah Palin quitter coverage going on.
Okay, enough of that.
Goofy, huh? I mean, have you SEEN me at an author event? I'm like the definition of goofiness. I swear, if Disney knew about me, they'd hogtie, gag and fly me to Disneyland where I wouldn't have to wear a costume to amuse the kids.
And can we talk about my weird form of chicken dance? My mangling of the English language? I mean, even the way I'm built ... balding, pigeon toed, bow-legged ... my elbows are registered weapons with Homeland Security ... my wife claims I need a beeper when I back up so no one gets killed.
Okay, fine ... let me try and focus on one particular incident. Well, there was that one time back in college when I ... oh, wait ... not exactly PG. Oh, yeah, that time where ... hmmm, not exactly appropriate, either. Wait, once I ... um ...
Never mind. You'll just have to take my word for it. Micky Mouse's friend has nothing on me.